So, I'm at the Los Angeles Tennis club recently with my 4-year-old daughter, Ruby and my 10-year-old son, Gus. (No, I don’t belong to any club but the club of women. I’m there as a guest of my brother’s friend.) My children are playing in the pool. Ruby has on her bikini bottoms and no bra top. There’s nothing there for a bra top to cover really. I think she’s looking very Coppertone ad cute. So, about twenty minutes into playing gleefully with her big brother, a very chagrined young life guard comes up to me and says, "You'll have to put Ruby’s top on, ma'am." (He knew her name because, well, she’s the most social human being on the planet and just about every one knows her name if you’ve been around her for more than ten minutes. ) Ruby overhears him and stops in her tracks. Gus obliviously keeps playing.

Now if you know me well, you know that this is not something you should ever say to me because I'll eat you alive. I’ll devour your very mindless self for perpetuating such sexist thoughts. So, without missing a beat or batting an eye, but quiet enough so that my daughter doesn't hear, I say back to this poor misguided youth, "Would you say that to a boy?" Silence. Squirm. Then even more silence. His body twitches. He looks as though he wants to melt into the pool splashed concrete sidewalk. Finally, he says, "Weeeeeell . . . ma'aaaaaaam . . ." as if I should know better, but he knows that I do know better. I see that he doesn't believe what he’s saying. He has to say this kind of crap to stay employed so I show the kid some mercy. "You feel like a total idiot asking me to put her top on, don't you? She's four years old." He begins to protest but I continue, "I can see in your face that you think the 'club rule' is stupid and sexist and you can't believe that you have to enforce it." He looks around to see that his superiors aren't watching. He shrugs his shoulders and nods his head and says with surrender, "They're the rules".

I, of course, begin my 'thing' about women and men and society and ancient puritanical subjugation of women. Ruby takes a step closer because she just knows we’re talking about her. What woman wouldn’t? He's just thrilled that my wrath is no longer directed at him but at the club, society and 'the rules.' I keep going thinking that if I can maybe change just one person’s way of thinking today, I will have made a difference. His face betrays nothing but embarrassment. Ruby steps closer and I tell her it's time to go to Donna's house and that we have to put her shirt on. I wouldn’t stay in a place that so detests women (even though that's not how they see it). As I'm helping her put her top on I can see a bit of confusion on her face. Why does she have to put her top on if Gus doesn't have to? I fight to not allow shame and embarrassment about her little body into her mind. I tell Gus to please put his shirt on as well. He protests but complies. We leave. Later, I explain to Gus why I wanted him to put his shirt on. He is an extraordinary human being. His face betrays a bit of sadness for his sister, for it all and he says that he is sorry. I tell him he and his sister need to change the world. He says, "Okay, mommy." And his face clouds over with thought. I imagine he's plotting their overthrow.



All my love and respect,

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BODY CONSCIOUS

Let's talk about those breasts. Feeling the curves and taking pride in it all. It's okay to touch. Explore. Peruse those swerves on your body. Let's do an exercise called 'open leg stretch' that incorporates stretch and a slow meditation with touch.

1. Sit on your mat or floor in a straddle, feet lengthened, torso upright.
2. [EXHALE] as you walk your hands forward between your legs, keep your lower back straight, and reach your lower abdomen towards the floor. Inhale deeply, imagining that you are drawing the breath directly into the muscles in your lower back and pelvis.
3. On a slow [INHALE], flex your feet; exhale as you lengthen them, making sure to point all the way through the entire shank of the foot. Repeat three times.
4. Slowly drag your left hand to your left ankle [INHALE]. When your hand reaches your ankle, move your head to your left knee. When your head reaches your knee slowly drag your right hand to your left ankle (or as close as you can come to it). Keep your right hip firmly planted on the floor. Exhale as you pull your chest toward the left knee, toes pointed.
5. Rotate your torso so that your chest is facing the wall in front of you,[INHALE] your left shoulder stretching towards your left knee, right arm extended above the head. Lengthen your spine, imagining that your upper torso is diving out of your pelvis.
6. Slowly raise your torso upright and center [EXHALE], allowing your right hand to drop onto your head and slowly caress its way down your body. As your right hand reaches your mid-torso, bring your left hand up your body, crossing paths with the right, and extending up above your head in a nice stretch.
7. [INHALE] as you stretch your torso to the right and out, chest facing the wall in front of you, right shoulder pointing towards your right knee, left arm stretching up and over your head.
8. [EXHALE] as you rotate your torso and collapse over your right leg. Keep your left hip firmly planted on the floor. Pull your chest towards your right knee and reach your hands to your toes.
9. Slowly drag your left hand back to the center of the room [INHALE]. When your hand reaches the center, let your head slowly follow it. Once your head reaches center, drag your right hand back to the center.
10. [EXHALE] as you keep your lower back straight, and reach your lower abdomen even closer towards the floor. Inhale deeply, imagining that you are drawing the breath directly into the muscles in your lower back and pelvis.
11. Repeat in the opposite direction.

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