The Magic of Women

First off, before I say anything, it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month so get those babies checked asap. Do a self-exam (click here for step-by-step instructions), make an appointment with a doctor, just make it happen!

Has this ever happened to you? You're about to run an errand, you walk out to your car and realize that you've left the keys to the car on the counter back in the house. You head back inside to retrieve the car keys and, as you come back out to the car, you get this unexplainable sense of dread in your chest. Something doesn't feel right. You can't put your finger on it, you just know you want to go back into the house and have a cup of tea. Instead, due to life's obligations, you get in the car to run your errand and you either: 1. Run into someone that you really didn't want to see; 2. Get a flat tire on the side of the road; 3. Get into a little fender bender; or 4. Have to go to five different stores to find what you needed in the first place? Intuition.

How about this one? Have you ever been eating something like blueberries or strawberries and they taste amazing as you're popping one into your mouth after another? Then one just doesn't feel right in your mouth. You think of spitting it out, but you eat it anyway? And in about five hours, you're not feeling so well. You knew, but you didn't trust. Gut instinct.

What about when you're daydreaming and thinking about someone who you haven't seen or heard from in a while. The phone rings off in the distance. You hear it but you're too engrossed in this middle-of-the-day-meditation to answer it. Later in the day, you check your phone messages and there is an important one from the person or someone connected to that person who you were just thinking about? Perception.

It is the magic of being a woman. We all have this thing that we call our "sixth sense" or our "intuition". It's primitive and visceral, a long way away from our linear, concrete, very definable world. It's a bit scary even. It unnerves me sometimes to believe that I might know things that I haven't read, heard or seen with my own eyes or tasted with my own mouth. To make the leap and trust your magic is scary. Think about it. What if you had stayed home that day instead of running your errand and bumping into the wrong person? What if you had spat that odd berry out of your mouth? What if you had picked up the phone in the middle of your daydream? Our intuition is our magic and it is in you. Sometimes, you just need to slow down and listen to be able to hear it. You need to trust those wonderful rumblings in your gut that say "yes", "no", "stay" and "go".

All things magical and fantastic are you and yours. Spread your magic throughout your life. Trust your insight. Give the gift of your intuition to your husband, your friends, and family whenever you feel the need. Tell it like it is. And during October, this most magical of months, tune into what is most magical about you, your heart, spirit and body.

For centuries in history, the "male logic" was always praised, while "women's intuition" was scoffed at, blamed, and questioned. Is it real or a myth? Though it may be difficult for some to define or even believe in, it seems we are at a place where it is often accepted as matter-of-fact and highly regarded. As women, we are vastly more powerful and accomplished than we often realize. If we take this special ability and develop it, we can help to make our lives easier and reach our greatest potential. We can use it to learn how to ride the wave of fate, to surf the moments of our lives like a wave that we know will ebb and flow no matter what. To see ahead that, yes, everything is going to be alright.

When your day is getting too chaotic and you need a little break for yourself, take a few minutes to tap into the magic of your beautiful body for some home-grown relaxation. Whether you're sitting at your office during lunch break or at home, stop whatever you're doing and close your eyes. Breathe deep, cleansing breaths and do a slow, simple, non-demanding, Upper Body Circle in your chair. If you can, play a song on your iTunes, and focus on a single instrument or beat in the music, allowing your body to follow its path through the song. Make wide, slow circles with your upper body, exhaling as you sweep your upper body downward.

1. Sit in an relaxed position, as you drop your head and upper torso forward. Exhale as you scoop your belly and push your lower back out toward the wall behind you. Imagine you are cradling a beach ball in you lap.
2. Begin to circle your head and shoulders clockwise, bringing them around to the right. Feel the stretch in the left side of your torso. Keep your sit bones firmly seated on the sofa or chair.
3. Circle your head to the back as you inhale, placing your hands behind you for support. Arch your back and open your chest up toward the ceiling.
4. Continue to circle around to the left, feeling the stretch in the right side of your torso.
5. Exhale as you sweep your head around to the front, scooping your belly and pushing your lower back out toward the wall behind you.

Be exaggerated and languorous in your movement, using it, along with your breath, to really ground and center yourself. Be deliberate and dreamy as you really feel the sensuality in every part of your body... our true inner magic. Continue the circle ten times, then reverse the direction and repeat. Absolutely luscious.

How about putting a sexy twist on Halloween this year? We all loved haunted houses when we were little (at least I did - who am I kidding? I still do!), so why not put together something wild and crazy for you and your friends? All it takes is some creativity, fun decorations and a little bit of space. If you only have a few rooms, you can hang sheets to create corridors and hallways. Set tea lights all around the area, have people walk barefoot so you can put sensual things on the floor for them to walk through... layers of flower petals (maybe black rose petals!), squishy candy worms, black garbage bags taped to the floor...tactile and unique. Get some friends in on the fun and get whimsical with the themes... we know how sexy a uniform can be, so have someone dress up like a policeman/woman who frisks people as they pass through a corridor or cuffs them with our sultry 'S' cuffs. Maybe have a hot fireman/woman on the patio spraying people down with a spray bottle... or create a wild hero's room with a sassy Tarzan and Jane or Superman and Supergirl, complete with tasks for guests to complete... like blindfold them with one of the gorgeous 'S' blindfolds and have them bob for apples or down some 'special' punch. Have a tinsel room, complete with a disco ball and a spotlight trained on it to create light sparkles, for a fun place for all to get their groove on. The possibilities are endless and you'll see how simply acting like a child or seeing with child-like eyes can be the most fun of all!

Deb Arana
S Factor Instructor
San Francisco

Deb Arana is an instructor at Sheila Kelley's S Factor San Francisco. She is the ultimate dichotomy... not only is she one of the most amazing 'S' instructors ever, she is the pillow fighting champion of the world! Born and raised in Northern California, Deb started taking dance classes when she was a toddler, "I basically came out of the womb dancing," she says, "I have always had a passion for any form of movement." She took the usual tap, ballet and jazz classes, and then focused on ballet until she was 18. From there, Deb moved on to Modern Dance, Afro-contemporary and Samba. She performed Samba for nearly 10 years, taking class and performing with a group called Mara-Reggae.

After attending an Intro and learning more about the movement from Melissa McLane, Deb realized how deep and well-thought out the S Factor curriculum was and how it encompassed the whole woman. "It appealed to me so much, I had no other choice but to get involved with it," says Deb. She fell in love with the process of self-discovery, and started to unveil a new, girly side of herself. "I always hang out with guys and play sports, so realizing just how girly I was deep inside and allowing this side to come out has been absolutely amazing." In addition, her flexibility improved significantly and she made many new friends, which became a second family for her.

After Deb discovered that the S Factor movement is not just an eight-week course, but rather a lifelong journey, she knew she had to become a teacher. She loves the connection she makes with the women at the 'S'; watching them grow and witnessing their surprise at the direction the journey takes them. "We all come in here thinking that we are one way, and then we peel away the layers and find this surprising Erotic Creature under there," says Deb. "Whether it's their girly side or it's someone aggressive and rowdy, the S Factor gives them permission to go ahead and embrace what's deep inside."

In addition to her title as the reining, 12-time Kenwood World Pillow Fighting Champion, Deb is a purple belt Brazilian Jiu Jitsu martial artist, and likes to play soccer, surf, mountain bike and snowboard. She has also been a fitness instructor, personal trainer and taught hip-hop and samba. When Deb dances, you see this incredibly floral, gentle and vulnerable side, coupled with this hard-as-a-rock-body – it is breathtakingly beautiful to witness. Deb currently lives in Pacifica with her daughter Ivy.

Dear Sheila,

Each month my Global S newsletter arrives and every month I devour each word and, at the end, I again am thankful for having S Factor in my life. I can honestly say that some weeks I live for the four or five minutes that I am dancing in front of my girls in Deb Arana's Sunday Level Six class. From picking out the music that my Erotic Creature craves to deciding what to wear, they are all these tiny, delicious moments, these bits of sanity and respite in my hectic day-to-day life.

I began my S Factor journey in April 2005 when Teri Jaworski came up to San Francisco to do a workshop at the Red Dot studio, and I have not been the same person since. When I think back over the last year of this journey, I think in these vibrant snapshots... Teri in her thigh-high boots in a Pole Sit at the end of that workshop, showing us what more was in store if we continued the journey... My first Level One class with Ana Hyatt when the San Francisco studio opened... being dubbed a House Girl and doing a my first set of Hip Circles and feeling my body sigh in relief - coming home to herself... the day I mastered the Snake for the first time... the pure joy I saw on a 'S' sister's face a few weeks ago when she mastered her first upside down trick... the pure adrenaline rush of watching Deb dance, again reminding me that there is so much more to learn, experience and experiment with. These moments are pure joy and bliss, they fuel me outside the studio to walk a bit taller, to not be afraid of my curves, to appreciate what an amazing thing this woman's body can do and is.

I no longer simply pay lip service to the notion that all women's bodies are beautiful and powerful. I now know it, I feel it, deep down in my bones. The S Factor has given me a vital clue to finding that elusive key to happiness that we all, as humans, seek. That being confident and content in this ever changing body is truly the definition of being home.

So Sheila, thank you for developing and then sharing what you learned working on Dancing at the Blue Iguana, thank you for seeing that you change women's minds, bodies and spirits, thank you for continuing to spread the word that there is nothing to be ashamed of being in a woman's body and, lastly, thank you for giving me a sassy goal, a personal challenge, a secret fantasy - to one day, walk into my boss's office, tell her that I am taking a long, much needed sabbatical to go to LA to become a pole dance instructor. How delicious that day would be. It is only a fantasy but, as my unpredictable Erotic Creature emerges and takes up more and more of my being, I just don't know where she might lead me... and that is half of the fun.

In gratitude,
Valerie Tookes