Summer into Autumn, Autumn into Winter, Winter into Spring and the cycle goes on and on. We're about to be sucked into Mother Nature's Autumn cycle. Can't you smell it in the air? Leaves are losing the bright green of summer and will soon be turning red, orange, yellow and then crinkly brown. Nature and women -- we are a constantly transforming duo. It's no wonder that she's called "Mother Nature" and "Mother Earth." Nature's seasons and cycles are reflected in our own feminine cycles of birth, menstruation, pregnancy, and menopause. Now they've even created a name for that in-between stage where women can spend years waiting for full-fledged menopause – perimenopause. (And why do so many of the words used to describe women's transitions have the word 'men' in them? Hmmm - what is that about?!)
My sister is 52, and she's visiting with us for a while. She's going through 'menopause' she tells me. She raises her hand to her forehead and presses the back of her wrist into her third eye in a kind of a swoon. She's dramatic. I sit on her bed on a Saturday morning to wake her up and she says, "I have to go take a shower." She jumps out of bed. Her body is tight and light and almost nubile but for two stretch marks, one for each son. (They're 25 and 28 now. She birthed young.) "But you just showered last night", I say, "like 8 hours ago!" She looks at me with love but, well, exasperated love, and says, "You really don't understand menopause do you?" What the fuck does taking a shower twice within a 12 hour time period have to do with 'menopause' I wonder? The word feels so foreign to me. So…..like final and well, definitive. Like there's life before menopause and there's life after and the two ain't ever going to meet. She whirls out of the room with a swirl of movement, grabbing clothes, a bra, a thong and a brush. She's always been an idol of mine, my big sister. She's tall and beautiful and passionate and wise and a bit on the emotive side, but then that probably explains why I became an actress. She's always been wise 'cause she's always been older. She probably always will be.
I think to myself, she's got wisdom to give me.
Our elder counterparts -- our big sisters, mothers, grandmothers, aunts, friends -- they know shit. It's called wisdom. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've all heard of wise old people, but let's recreate it. Let's throw the respect and honor back at them 'cause somewhere along the line it got lost. Sometimes this elderly wisdom only comes out as yearnings, reflections, memories. Sometimes it comes out as words of advice, sometimes just a steady, warm supportive gaze. Whatever gift you can garner from the wise women in your life, you need to take it and run with it. Don't ignore it as a mom who is out of touch, a crazy old lady in line at the grocery store, a friend behind the times, or the ramblings of an older sister, but recognize it as clues from a "sister" who has been where you have been and seen more than you may ever see. Let her show you about life, lushness, happiness, the changing of the seasons.
Later that same day I tell sis I'm hot. "It's hot in here!" I fan myself and she looks over at me with a sly grin, "That's how it starts," she says. "But I'm too young!" I tell her. It is 96 degrees out. "Does it start this young?!!" She smiles widely, "You've got time, little sister." So those of us who aren't there yet need more information from you sisters who are there or have been. Your wisdom needs to be passed along to us. The lines are open, let's commune. I eagerly await your thoughts, observations, experiences… whether you're going through menopause, have gone through or someday going to go through. Let's hear your thoughts, advice, ramblings or fears. Take part in the S Factor Poll and let's enlighten each other.
G-Spot
Marriage is another huge transition we women face, but one we do have a choice about. And, thankfully, over the last few decades it was finally realized that, hey, it's not just the men giving up their bachelor lives, we're giving up our single-hood, too! Why is it that it took so long for bachelorettes to get in on the tradition?
Well, now bachelorette parties are one of the fastest growing trends among women today. These parties are a statement of equality and an antidote for what can sometimes be a dreadfully formal bridal shower. While some women imitate the male bachelor party and head out to a male strip club and get their drink on, others opt for more relaxing takes such a spa days and pamper parties, mini-vacations or just a fancy dinner with the girls. Contrary to popular belief, less than 25% of bachelorette parties include male strippers!
Whatever style party you choose, all I have to say shake it up and enjoy yourselves! It's a big deal that we're committing ourselves to one man for the rest of our lives, so we need to celebrate the moment! There's so many different things we can do to bond with our sisters who support us through these huge moments. Basically, just take a look at your common interests and the bride's favorite thing to do, and move forward from there... and then throw in some fun games. Whatever you do, just make sure the bride-to-be is treated like the princess she is (easy - just make her rock a tiara or a bride's veil) and show her the time of her life. If you are having the party at home, click here for some game ideas.
If you're still looking for a unique spin, keep in mind that we offer over the wall bachelorette parties right here at the S Factor. And they just roll.... you ladies can get all fired up, don festive gear and get your pole workout all at the same time! (after a fabulous warm-up, of course)! The best part is the bride will learn to do a full-on lap dance that'll she'll never forget. For more information call Amy at 323.965.9685.
All
my love and respect,
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BODY
CONSCIOUS |
Mini Meditation
Vacation time is over. I need a vacation just to recover from my vacation. Instead, we all get caught up in the frenetic-ness of back to school, back to work, back at home, back in the saddle. We make our lists of what we have to do to keep it all together and it's quite overwhelming. On top of it, I can feel the days growing shorter – it seems like we get home so much later even if it's the same time as usual. Night owls everywhere may be rejoicing, but for some of us, it almost feels like we're getting cheated after reveling in all those extra hours of daylight this summer.
I don't know about you, but with all the end-of-summer chaos, sometimes I forget to take a tiny part of the day to celebrate myself. How about a weekly mini-personal vacation (in addition to our S factor workouts, of course), just a little bit of time to recharge, relax, reconnect, and re-kindle your spirit.
Here's one simple way to do it with a Mini - Meditation. First, give yourself one delicious hour to go out in nature somewhere (and if you can't find an hour, start with a half hour!) … sit on the beach, take a hike in a canyon, go to the park… it doesn't matter where, just somewhere in nature where you can sit and relax. Think of all you have accomplished… here at S Factor, at work, at home, at play…. and smile. Then start this simple meditation – close your eyes and relax. Feel the warmth in your heart and visualize a beautiful white light, filling you up with love and peace. Let it fill your whole body, from the bottom of your toes to the crown of your head. Then visualize that white light, sailing right out of your body through your heart and out into the world, into the sunset… wherever. Your mind may wander but each time it does, don't be hard on yourself… just bring yourself back to that white light and let go of all your thoughts, worries, to do lists – you get what I mean. Start with five to ten minutes and keep adding a minute or two each time you do this. You will feel like a brand new woman afterwards. Best part – it's free and easy and there are no rules… just go with your natural flow. It's powerful for your state of mind, spirit and health -- and you're body will feel more relaxed and connected.
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SEX POLL RESULTS |
Oh my God – a lotta you ladies are having a lotta good sex… you women with the multiple multiples need to share your secrets! The results to last month's poll were uber-interesting. The majority of us crave some form of foreplay (that includes conversation) and love the sex in our lives, but it looks like we've all got different styles and tastes. That's what so brilliant about being an 'S' woman – we are all individuals and are so proud of it!
I have sex...
Once a week: 28.42%
Once a month: 15%
More than once a week- be honest now: 41.05%
Sex? What's sex?: 14.21%
NEVER - I am celibate and loving it!: 1.05%
Life without sex…
Would be hard to deal with, but I'd live: 50.79%
Is okay with me: 8.68%
Sounds great – I think sex is over-rated: 1.32%
Not up for discussion: 39.21%
I have orgasms:
During actual intercourse: 13.95%
Only through oral sex: 6.84%
Only through masturbation: 11.58%
At least once every session: 26.58%
Sometimes – wish it were more: 16.84%
Never: 1.32%
Multiples just keep getting better (Woman, I need to talk to you!): 22.89%
Speaking of which, I masturbate:
Never: 13.68%
Once a week: 49.47%
More than once a week: 28.42%
Every single day: 5.79%
I like to be on top, riding the wave:
Never: 3.16%
Once in a great while: 11.84%
Sometimes: 40.26%
Often: 40%
All the time - can't have it any other way!: 4.21%
I prefer to have sex:
With the lights off: 9.21%
In full daylight: 0%
In the bedroom on the bed: 22.37%
Outside: 2.37%
In new and ever interesting places: 28.42%
With shimmering candlelight: 29.74%
I like my sex:
Rough, raw and with no-holds barred: 7.37%
Mixed up – a little bit of this, a little bit of that: 61.84%
Not too crazy, but I'll try anything once: 8.42%
In Tantric-style marathons: 1.84%
Slow and gentle – making love is my thing: 6.05%
Unpredictable: 14.47%
I like foreplay:
Sometimes, I really like to go for it: 20%
It's a must: 35.26%
To start as a back rub and movin' on from there: 15.79%
As kisses and nibbles: 19.74%
No foreplay needed: 2.63%
Nothing turns me on like a great conversation: 6.58%
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So I'm in the hip hop club last weekend and this song comes on. Of course, you know that I use it in class but then sis starts moving that gorgeous body of hers and she becomes the liquid presence of beauty that she's always been.
this is a fine song and Ms. Costa has whatever it is that makes it so damn fine! 
"Terms of Endearment" is a mother-giving-wisdom-to-her-daughter kind of movie, with the inimitable Shirley MacLaine and Miss Debra 'doe-eyed" Winger.
"Dangerous Liaisons" - Glenn Close at her most Glenn Close-est. If you thought she was nuts in 'Fatal Attraction', just grab this baby at the video store and relish the intensity.
From the jacket: It's first the story of two women in the 1980's, of gray headed Mrs. Threadgoode telling her life story to Evelyn, who is in the sad slump of middle age. The tale she tells is also of two women – of the irrepressibly daredevilish tomboy Idgie and her friend Ruth, who back in the thirties ran a little place in Whistle Stop, Alabama, a Southern Café Wobegon offering good barbecue and good coffee and all kinds of love and laughter, even an occasional murder. 
From the website: In a book that immediately became a classic, Dr. Christiane Northrup shows women how they can make menopause a time of personal empowerment and positive energy—emerging wiser, healthier, and stronger in both mind and body than ever before. As she has in her seminal work, Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom, Dr. Northrup once again challenges convention with this inspiring look at one of the most commonly misunderstood female health issues. The "change" is not simply a collection of physical symptoms to be "fixed," but a mind/body revolution that brings the greatest opportunity for growth since adolescence. The choices a woman makes now—from the quality of her relationships to the quality of her diet—have the power to secure her health and well-being for the rest of her life. Through her personal story and many fascinating case histories, Dr. Northrup shows:
